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    July 14

    it is what it is

    it's a shame really...
    my daughter texted me  and told me  her father is so pissed at her
    for what?
    she has a cell phone?
    oh contraire.... is her brothers cell she uses cause  her father saw fit to take away hers.
    i give my both children use of a cell phone..  my EX decided in his wonderous wisdom that he would take away my daughters cell... I even asked him...   give her back the phone... i have insurance  I can replace this..  He said  NO... do what you have to ... I do what I have to... I said... dont you trust her>   he said no....so a cell phone sits unused in his cabinet.... cause of his stubborness.   so she uses her brothers cell... 
    and she was away for the week  with the outlaws
    but she called her father from this cell phone
    the EX called back to the father and said.  "  how is she calling me"
    he replied    on her phone    she is on it 3 hours a night
    he was not a happy camper.... what the fuck is his problem?
     
    her nana  is dropping the phone at my house on sunday.. so  the EX cant smash it to pieces... i am sure she will hear it from him.. but she is the strongest woman i know... so fuck him.  I love Nana... my mother in law Ex...  she is priceless.  When I left my husband    things started to happen... my sister in law,  her husband left her... then my mother in law  left her husband.... my EX was in a tizzy.  he said you all are fucking crazy.. I said... maybe me leaving you... gave them strength to leave.  who knows  its all a fucking crap shoot.. unless....
    you have someone who loves and really gets you
    i love someone
    very dearly
     
    i wear my heart on my sleeve sometimes but i do care
    i wish you enough
    lainey
     
     
     
    omfg  i blogged    roll out the red carpet you fucks...  lmao
    June 23

    i hear you

    ok.. ya peeps.. lainey is back in town
    miss american pie courteously invites you to partake in this madness of her soul
    what is new in my neck of the woods?
    not much
    went to a concert with my daughter last month  KISS108 annual concert  very nice.  got to see Akon <big grin> it was like a festival.. lot of bands  all day.. 2pm to 11pm  long day  however... very nice.  my daughter got an autograph of the band  Red Jumpsuit Apparatus...  she was so thrilled.....i loved that part... her feeling of being a part of a huge crowd  made me stand still...i bought really good tickets to this show  like 14 rows from the stage... my daughter loved this... and i love making her happy.....hence the mother thing... <seth please note  not all she-devils are  banshees>
    anyways... some people <no names>
    have been saying i should write a new blog
    well... here i am...  feisty as ever
    knock your socks off gorgeous <vote still out on that one>
    stop  drop and roll
    that was for you firefighters world wide
    and to my old friends
    i love you all.. you make me special
    and my new friends?
    lets explore the new world before us
    wow
    did i blog?
    fuck yes
    i wish you enough
    lainey
    June 10

    if i died tomorrow

     
    never forget
    sweet memories
    hold them dear
     
     
     i wrote this poem
    for not a ghost
    not a ripper
    not a sun
      i wrote it for R
    a man i love
    and miss so much
     
    if i died tomorrow
    would you have enough
    of our shared memories
    to carry you through the rough?
     
    if i died tomorrow
    would you remember me
    would you carry with you
    sweet memories?
     
    if i died tomorrow
    what would you do
    would your heart fill with sorrow
    your eyes with tears too?
     
    if i died tomorrow
    would you remember how
    you stayed away
    and not come back till now?
     
    if i died tomorrow
    would your heart be in anguish
    cause you let something
    come in between us
     
    time is too short
    when love can be so strong
    to soothe away
    all that is wrong
     
    don't let pride
    stand in the way of your heart
    and keep the love
    that is ours apart
     
    if i died tomorrow
    will you remember these words i say
    i forgive you for leaving
    my heart never did that day
     
    you will have it forever
    i hope thats enough
    to carry you through
    all that is rough
     
     
    a really good friend added another stanza to this
     if i should die tomorrow
    my only thanks is that it was today
    for today was another day
    i got to be with you
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
    April 29

    Atlantis

    Sea of dreams
    Life past
    but not forgotten
    Lost in the sea
    have mercy upon thee
    Fate twisted
    with destiny
    A sunken treasure
    if you will
    In dreams
    it becomes reality?
    Lost at sea
    please
    have mercy for me
    for whence I dream
    a city becomes alive
    it tears me away
    from this mundance place
    where is my face?
    it's mirrored in the sea
    March 30

    new one listen up

    i got it back.. for now.... take what you want   cuz i am deleting this space.  I love you all of you that stopped by and left kisses and sweet words... but  my train has come.. i must leave...
    oracle? GITM?  its all the same
    the song remains the same
    i will find you
    please dont forget me
    our laughter
    our smiles
    such beautiful smiles they were
    i love you all..
    some more..
    yes YOU
    no worries 
    be back in the next nic
     
    i wish all enough
    to carry you thru the dark
    and the light
    ether
    (that was for you twins)
    Muah
    to all me friends
    you  know me  if i come back
    for my words i cant hide
    and i am quite expressive  lmao
       bye bye
    hush little baby
    dont you cry
    lainey will sing you a  lullaby
    bye bye miss american pie
     
     
     
    love to all
    wishing you more than enough
    DecemGirl
    February 18

    I love you

    i love you
    it has to be enough
    for now
     
    one day
    very soon
    i shall hold you in my arms
     
    till then
    breathe my words
    sense me from this computer place
     
    don't leave me
     
    please
     
    i need you
    your sweet embrace
     
    mine
    yours
    ours
    together
    we journey
    souls complete
    February 08

    Love

    Love
    will prevail
    fifth element male
    even when hope seems lost
    and feelings are tossed
    desperation can be pushed away
    a new day
    is here
    no fear
    for
    I
    still
    breathe
    thee
     
     
    February 04

    My Journal

    It is hard for me to recant this, but I must put it to paper for I fear I am losing my mind.  I have tried to remember all the details, but alas, I am sure I am missing a few.  But in the hopes that this record will explain to some the events leading up to my present situation, I must attempt to get it all down on paper. I will start.

    It was late Friday night when I drove home.  The house was completely dark.  That in itself is not unusual, but still I had started to worry.  I parked the car in front of the garage and started walking towards the house.  It was then that I felt someone was watching me.  I spun around and looked in all directions, but no one was there.  I got to the door and quickly inserted my key and entered the house.  Sitting on the table in the foyer was a note.

     Gone out of town for a few days. Be home on Monday.  Call if you need us.  Supper is in the fridge.  Love Mum and Dad

    I thought it would be nice to have the whole house to myself for three days.  I went to the kitchen and ate my supper.  Then thought, a nice bath, light the fireplace in my room and curl up in bed with a good book.  Sounded good.  I started up the staircase and then the lights went out.  I felt a sense of dread.  Panic, really.  I don’t like the dark.  Never have.  I fumbled my way into the living room to get a candle off the mantle.  I lit it and worked my way back to the stairs and then went up.   I went down the hall to my bedroom, went in, closed and locked the door behind me.  I skipped the bath but lit the fireplace.  I started to feel a little more at ease.  I figured that with the lights out I should just go to bed. I got undressed, put on my nightshirt on and hopped into bed.  I snuggled into the pillow, pulled the coverlet up under my chin and started to drift off to sleep.  Not quite sure if I actually fell asleep, but I remember feeling that someone was watching me.  I looked down by the end of the bed and saw a figure standing by the fireplace. I don’t remember feeling panicky.  Only a sense that I should be still.  It was then I heard my name being whispered.  Claudia. 

    January 17

    soul searching

    There comes a time in your life when you must stop and consider who touches you... your heart, your soul, you inner most being.  I know I have done this before, but it needs reinforcement now and then...The souls that touch yours.. not just willy nilly friends you meet here on spaces.. but those that truly nurture your soul.  I must admit, quite frankly, that I have many.  And I do feel blessed for each and every one that crosses my path.  But there are certain ones... who cross your path.. you seem as if you have known them a lifetime or more.  It is those souls that feed me.  I feed them too.  It's a need that may have been handed downs from ages ago.  But, I know,  I don't make friends easy...  truthful..   I dont... I know its sad  but I search for those that blend with my soul.  I don't know how else to put it.  I have met a few that blend with me... and I not need names  for they already know. But, I do wish to acknowledge everyone that has ever touched me. Not in a physical sense but a soul way   ok?  To start, Re has been a guiding light for me.. and those that know me...truly know me... know how much..... Poopster... what can I say?  He is truly my friend and I would be lost without him....from the moment we met on spaces... I met me...and then Warm, my warmie from chat  who i have known for a long time time... she is the warmest sister I never had.... then i meet Paula... oMg... this woman is my soul sister. kindred hearts... right down to the french fries.. lol  put that one for you paula....then I think I met Peter... and some may not think he is kindred.. but he has to be  for all the times I went to his space for solace   and for petes' sake   some intelligent writing  lol...He fucking writes Angel episodes? hello?  my kinda gent...and Cindy.. a woman  who defies all odds and comes out smiling .. well most times.. especially when rick is playing  lol.......Laza?   FE Male... American Pie.. yes  all in one... (k)  and raven who i have totally not been to her space.. sorry dear girl.   but you left me too.. Leeeeeeeeee,  my baldie bean... without you in my life  it would seem dreary.  I love how you make me smile so many times.  And btw... this comment   about have I gotten. it?.. oh never mind.. lol Moebabes, is my girlie girl... NO one can touch her..  Love ya girlie....EDddddd my travelin man... you are the light that shines for me.  Iove your comments  always upbeat  even if i am being a shit.   Rob... I know we dont get to talk much  but i love your space... truly   and Tink, you too. I have learned so much from you.  Magick... my wiccan queen... i love all your thoughts... even if i may not agree.. lol.  Paul.. now bastoldragon is a hoot...  Friends we have become and forevermore will be... Bill... i have not forgotten you  just a little busy at the moment  lol..  fuck whre is the beer?   ..Hairy aka Keith... he's all quite nice   but don't expect tea... JD is his demon...   and fuck  he had a black xmas tree..lol... and Vatican Boy... show your niblits soon  or you shall forever rot in hell.. lmfao....and i saved Nbt and Yvonne for last... a true love story   that we should all revel in... if not perve in.. if they give us some more pics  lol.....one can only hopeeeee  lmao... j/k guys    erummmm NOT... hehehe
    be well
    if i forgot you  means you werent thinking of me or that you dont do spaces
    i wish you enough
    Lainey
     
    an afterthought.. JG  he was very instrumental in my stayin on spaces...  So JG  get out behind the fuckin tractor  and come back.
     
     
     
    and if really didnt mention you.. is not out of ignorance  is just that maybe you havent touched my heart yet.
    there is always time
     
     
    should say thank you to lee..  but baby  i already had done this before you   lol
    January 11

    line begins to blur

    When the line begins to blur
    what do i incur
    is there ever enough
    or ever too much
     
    Bring your soul to my plate
    and what will be the fate
    you cannot see it
    but the light has been lit
     
    You are blinded by the light
    but the words are your sight
    embrace the moment
    and do not repent
     
    Take this into your embrace
    show your true face
    do not let it go this time
    destiny is unfolding at its own pace
     
    One cannot say where
    things go here or there
    in this time  hit or miss
    who knows of this
     
    Find your path
    incur no wrath
    peace be upon you
    may your heart be true
     
    True for you
    to do
    as you wish
    fall into the abyss
    January 06

    Just my opinion

    Ok..  Lainey has a view on things.. may not be popular.. but it is a view.  The Saddam Hussein hanging?  The video of this, I am sure disgusting, I don't know how bad, because I will not view it.  I saw a still photo  of Saddam with a noose on his neck... and I was sickened..  I am even more sickened  that so many could rejoice in this....A man, no matter how bad, is dead.  He did lead his country with what he believed to be the best.  No matter what you think about this.. how bad he was.. he did some good things too.  Now dead, he will meet his maker  and all will be sorted then... You will reap what you have sown..... I am not his fan   and I find his behaviour reprehensible... Ok.. so he deserved to die... why do so many feel the need to view this?  I cannot comprehend this..  He is deaddddddddddd...So for you glory mongers... out there.. he will be forever in hell....How many found this video to be totally appalling?  I cannot watch it   nor choose to... it is barbaric....Ok, I see a few with their hands still by their sides..... what about this can you find appealing?  How many other leaders of countries  can you say the same about?   Lead their country with true hearts, but many die.....?Responsible for many deaths.  History has a way of repeating itself   over and over again.   When will the world wake up and realize that war is not the answer.  Power...  ill gotten  is not the answer...Soooooooooooooo for the crimes punishable?  who is next?  Bush, Blair, yada yada   they are all responsible.. for only when the political parties are fair and do what the people really need   ... then we will see some recourse..It is not about who should die or why... it is about YOU changing the course of action.   ok? till then,  hope we all can sleep well knowing what goes on in the world.
    December 27

    My calling

     
    My calling
     
    I live this life but once
     I shall not deny that which is written...
    for my heart belongs to be with those I love... 
     and I shall not deny it in this life. 
     it is my destiny
    my fate
    my calling..
    what ever you may say..
    it is.
    December 24

    this life

     
    I see the light in your eyes
    I feel the warmth in your heart
    I know the love from your soul
    I have known you forever
    and will always
    my eyes, heart and soul are forever yours.
    I cannot change what is written
    the words etched in stone
    they speak loud and clear to me
    myself listening to them
    hearing, knowing, feeling
    all that was once known before
    and rejoicing again in the now
    and we will continue
    in paradise
    and forevermore
     
    December 18

    Happy Birthday

    Happy Birthday to ME!!!
    It started at 12:00am.. A very pleasant surprise from Re...Birthday wishes on the computer and by phone.  Hmmm...I could not stop smiling. Thanks baby! I love you...
    Thanks to Poopster for making a blog just for me!  Muah!  You're the best, hunny..And thank you to everyone who as already sent e-cards and IM's wishing me a happy day.  Muah to all of you.  The fact that you remembered made me feel very special.  I will update this later.. I am at work right now and must go.
     
    I wish you enough
    Love to all,
    Lainey
     
    December 10

    I have been tagged

    I have been tagged....Thanks Dave! hehe
     

    6 Weird Things

     
    The rules:
     
    According to the rules…each player of this game starts with the “6 weird things about you”.
     
    People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 6 weird things as well as state this rule clearly.
     
    In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names
     
    Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” in their comments and tell them to read your blog.
     
    Now for my six weird things:
     
    1.  I can close the very insides of my eyes... without closing my eyes.  Same note.. I can shut one eye perfectly relaxed and keep the other open.
    2.  When driving in my car, if I pass or see a hearse or a dead animal in the road... I do the sign of the cross and say a small prayer.
    3. I absolutley abhor ketchup on my french fries... I prefer just salt.. I do like vinegar or mayonnaise too.
    4.  I like to sleep with one leg out of the blankets.
    5.  I sleep with a night light on.  Actually have them all over my house.  Bloody electric company loves me.. hehe.
    6.  I drink diet coke in the morning... I don't drink coffee and I need to get caffeine somehow.
     
     
     
    Ok.. now I have to tag 6 people
    Poopster, Hairy, Bastol, Peter, Rob, Jack
     
    but i must say.. i have picked these six... to give a jump start to themselves.  i have many friends... but some are in need of more love than others
     
     
     
    Ok, weekend update.... Went to the company Xmas party tonight.. wasn't as bad as I thought.  Actually had a good time.. Was even sweeter when they had the raffle.. Little Lainey won $50... woohoo!  I was like.. YEAH!  Anywhoos   was home by 11pm.. Behaved myself as usual. 
    Have a great Sunday.
    Love
    Lainey
    December 04

    First Snow Fall

    Well, woke up this morning to find a lovely little blanket of snow covering the ground and more coming down.  Was such a pretty picture.  Made me stop and take a deep breath.  And feel in touch with nature.  Awww.. snap out of it!  Hehehe  I have posted a pic in my Misc Pictures Album.  It is of my backyard this morning at 9am.
    Not much is new.  The kids are doing great.  Heather and Markie have started basketball.  So that's the sport as of late.  Ran out of heating oil yesterday.  Got a bit chilly in the house.   Had to bundle up.  The kids didn't seem to mind at all.. Having the oil company fill the tank today.  So will be all nice and toasty tonight.  Well, that is after I bleed the bloody furnace so it will turn on.  That's what I get for letting it run out.  Well, it's my five days on.. I have the children until Wednesday morning.  I don't spend much time on the computer when they are there.  I am actually writing this at work.. Hey!  I am on break.. so I can.  lol..
    My company Christmas party is on Saturday.  That ought to be a blast!  NOT!  I have to go, make an appearance.. have dinner, little chit chat and then sneak out and go home. Oh well, Christmas party means haircut for Lainey.  I will probably get an appointment for Friday.  Maybe Friday night I will snap some pics of the new do..
    Anyways, that's it for now.
    Have a lovely week.
    Love
    Lainey
    December 03

    Chatrooms

    There are times in your life that seem the best.  Then others move in and  push it all away.  I am going to write about my chatroom experience.  The good, the bad the ugly.
    I have always liked trivia rooms...  just sort of drawn there.  I began playing trivia in a room called "Sexy Flirting for Singles"  (sorry panther and superman if I got that wrong)   been a long time) I got booted out of that room  only to be reinvited by panther  his reasons are open to debate.... I do have one friend to this day from that room.. and he is a good one.. Needless to say I got booted out of that room, and moved onto Southern Bar and Grill...    was there for a quite a while... I loved this room so much  but I fear the owner there did not like me there..whatever  ... we wont get into that...I am booted out of this room too.  But there is ladie..  she started a new room about 4 months later and came to me and invited me to join... so i did... Ladie knew how much of a strong person i am and said   no worries lainey  come to my room.. i did... and had so much fun  then  my friend Mark came on board just as things happened with this girl.  her b/f said some shit about me not true but she believed it....this is where i met mark... my bestest friend...  him and i hit off right away.... and he tried to make things right with me and this girl   but never could  sooooooooo... being the one i am  i left the room   cuz this girl loved the room and i just didn't want to deal... (  hey, think here you shits  its where i came up with the name nodramas)   sooooo   i left the room.. there are other rooms right ( btw. that girl came to me a year later to say  she was wrong.. and her b/f was a liar>  hell i knew that from the start   i mean with a name like trouble?  wats that gonna get ya?
    so i go back to sexy flirty with singles..  going along  playing trivia   then the owners get in a fight  and the room now splits... wtf?
    Now enter Kandyland...  i was like in heaven...i met so many people... it was cool..    i play trivia there for a while  and then about a month later... the room split up...another fucking split?  i cant take this shit...
    gawd it hurt me...  i mean  i just got into the room and its gonna split?
    now i have to choose?  the other room or kandyland?  i have to say i went back and forth for afew  months  then said... i chooose..............i chose kandyland...if u take alook back  the other room was smothering...   and truthfully lime gave me a way to say good bye to the other room.. I did... and never looked back.  you would turn down fresh air over oppression?  Ok  so now i am in limes room  and then things happen  and pooter comes on board    ...lets just say poots and limey had the best trivia room...It makes me sad that it is all gone now. ......well.. i miss the room    i miss the group   i miss the closeness we all shared.  but i suppose we all move on.
     
    I wish you enough
    Lainey
     
     
    November 23

    Elevator fantasy

    As I enter the elevator, there is a man ready in there and standing next to the buttons.

    “Please press number 6”, I say.”  He replies, “ Already pressed”.  The elevator starts to move.   And woosh, we are on our way … the elevator stopsThe emergency bell has rung. oh dear,glory  who said that was in the plans?  I cannot be trapped here in this space “Hmmm” says my handsome stranger… “Looks like we will be here a while.”  “Might as well get comfortable, it may be a while…  Been through this before.”  It’s getting hot.  This confined place is making me hotter. Does he know I need but a whisper  before I will kneel at his knees …suddenly I need to breathe…. “I don’t like confined spaces.” I say.   He replies, “You’ll be ok.   But it may get very hot here. The AC is not working.”  With that he takes off his shirt…I wish I could do that too… “Pardon?”  “Did you say something,” he says.  “Well, yes, no nothing…………… yes I wished I could do that too.. “ Go ahead, I will not mind.   We will most likely be here for quite a while.  You should get comfortable.”  I slowly undo the buttons of my blouse… Not really sure if I should actually be doing this.  He is watching me.  I am fumbling… and now he is before me.. saying, “Let me help.”  I watch as he unbuttons the last of them and slides my blouse off of my shoulders.  Standing there in my bra I am acutely aware of our nakedness.  It makes me quiver..  He takes my face in his hands and bends down to kiss me.  I am kissing him back.  His tongue finding mine and slowly exploring.  As he is kissing me he reaches around to my back and unhooks my bra…  His mouth slowly moves down to my breasts and begins to suck at my nipples.  A soft moan escapes me.  His hands removing my panties… He says, “See that rail?  Put your leg up on it.”  As if in a trance, I obey.  My leg up on the rail, he drops to his knees and begins to lick at my thigh  and then to my already wet pussy.  Darting his tongue all around sucking me..  I am breathless.  Just when I think I can take no more and will come.   He  moves away  and stands before me removing his pants  and I see the desire in his hard cock.  He pulls me close and pushes me down so I am kneeling, his cock brushing my lips, pushing there… my mouth opening … wanting it…    I feel his urgency in my ever increasing sucking………… yessssssssssssss it is mine… I know he is close.   He pulls away  and makes me lie down   and enters my drenched pussy.  My hands grabbing his sweet ass, pulling him closer.  The come is here… feel it. Hmmm, the elevator is humming.. it is starting up... we scramble to clothe ourselves...  when the doors finally open.. there is another man and he is grinning  I wonder why   and look down towards my breast and realize   my buttons are askew...hmmmm sweet.. we exit the elevator I go right   he goes left...     but in a moment  I turn    he does also, sweet capture.  Ah yes... never shall I ride an elevator the same again. 

    November 12

    Can't say what the hell this about

    Ok,  I am back... In a purple haze, but back.  Let's see, what can I talk about tonight?  The driving thing is still driving me crazy and scared.   I had a 1203 (semi talk for a gasoline truck)  nearly brush my car.   I watched him pass me doing a fairly good clip  and then he cut in front of my car.. Normally I don't mind this as I give hand signals spouting my thoughts...   but mind you this is a gas truck ... a big effing truck...(yes, I am trying to curtail the vulgarity... what the fuck about it?)   then I watch him weaving on the road..   Lainey is starting to worry... I mean  if he hits one of those cars up ahead  and causes a bloody accident  will I have time to pull off to the side?  Needless to say.. I slowed and let him have all the road...... Really, do you want to mess with a gas truck?   The accident alone will prolly have you busted up in flames...So... I let him go off at his fast clip.. ever approaching the work area... but hey... its him  not me... I held back.  Ok, that was my driving rant....
    I have something to say about people on your messenger.   I am all in favour of blocking people as sometimes you just can't deal. I have done this very thing.. It's not out of anger (lost for the word)  but more  I will talk to you another time.  And isn't it the shits ( ok vulgarity is back) when you realize  you weren't really blocked but deleted?  We can all see this on our messenger.... No one is fooling anyone here.  Well, it's sweet.  or you could forever block them.. and torture them to have you on their view list... (shhhh but I have a few  of this type)  but in the same breath... I had someone on my messenger for so long... I would not delete him  because he will always be dear to my heart... Lo and behold... he added me back today... I have no idea why.  But it was good to see him there.  Been too long James....even if you didn't chat with me... something brought you back.. Welcome back, baby... I am rambling now.. and I do apologize.
    <lainey meanders off to her comfy couch>
    you know the one where I plot all my bloody mishaps?
    I wish I had that much interest going on in my life
    Sorry state of affairs when you wish you were bad... or doing bad things... WTF is the world coming to.  Must be cuz I have a job... <make mental note to plank ass on the fucking comfy couch and plot how to steal 47 quid from Hairy>
    lol
    Be well
    Lainey
    November 11

    Happy Birthday Poopster!

    Happy Birthday Poopster!
     
    Hope you have a wonderful day!
     
    Luv ya,
     
    Lainey
    xoxo